I Quit!…..

Am I the only one, or is there anybody else who feels like adulthood now comes with a thousand invisible rules? Not just rules…..’cool adult rules’. Apparently, to be seen as calm, composed, mature, and “put together,” there’s now a long list of silent commandments you’re expected to follow. And honestly? I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I’m confused. And today, I want to talk about just one of those rules that has been fighting me personally.

A few days ago, someone sent me a text message. I saw it about 15 minutes after it came in. Normally, that’s enough time to reply without looking obsessed, right? But did I reply? No…..because it’s 2025 and somehow, somewhere, everybody collectively signed a global agreement (I don’t know where they held the meeting) that replying messages quickly means you’re jobless, idle, or too available. So the new rule is: don’t reply immediately, so you don’t look like you have nothing else going on in your life.

Being the abiding woman that I am, I tried to follow the rule. I saw the message, paused, and told myself, “Give it a little time. Don’t reply too quickly. Be cool. Be calm. Be subtle.” Well…….lo and behold guys it’s been 48 hours plus since that message came in, and I am just remembering that I did not reply.

Two whole days. And this is not the first time this has happened. It’s been happening a lot lately….and it’s starting to become obvious that this “slow reply” rule is not for me. It doesn’t fit my life, my brain, or my personality in any way.

Let me explain why.
I hate unread notifications. I hate those red badges on apps. I hate seeing “23 unread messages.” I hate the feeling of something waiting for me that I have not attended to. It gives me anxiety. It makes me feel disorganized. It makes me feel like I might miss something important. I like my phone the same way I like my space……neat, clear, open, calm, with nothing hiding anywhere. I need to be able to see every corner. If something needs attention, I want to attend to it immediately.

So this whole “wait before you reply so you won’t look idle” trend? Yeah… it’s destroying me. It’s working against me in ways I didn’t expect. Because once I see a message and stop myself from replying immediately, I almost always forget. Completely. And by the time I remember, it’s too late to reply without looking awkward. Then I lose the conversation entirely, lose the connection and I start to feel bad.

The funniest thing is… I didn’t start out like this. I only started doing it because I wanted to blend in. I wanted to be part of the cool adults. I wanted to follow the unwritten rules. But sitting here now, I’m realizing that some trends are simply not for me and they shouldn’t be.

Well, I guess this is a reminder that not everything trending is meant to be followed. Not every “rule” is meant for your life. Not everything popular is healthy for your personality. Sometimes, you are supposed to stand out. Sometimes, you’re supposed to do what works for you.

The most annoying part of it all is that this “slow reply” rule is just one of the many silent expectations for being a “cool adult.” There are a lot more rules and expectations being forced down our throats by society……
Don’t talk too much on social media.
Don’t post too much.
Don’t be too expressive.
Don’t appear childish.
Don’t show too much excitement.
Don’t care too loudly.
Don’t be too available.
Don’t be too emotional.
Don’t be too real.

This past week on social media too, I saw how a lady was been dragged for taking public transport to go and get her wedding makeup done instead of paying for home service like the ‘cool adult commandment’ instructs.

Like ahn ahn, can we calm down?…..

As God would have it though……all these rules don’t work for me either…..lol. I like talking. I like sharing. I like dancing. I like showing my personality. I like expressing myself. I like doing my thing without needing approval from society’s imaginary committee of mature adults.

And because of this, I’ve decided to make the very easy decision of stepping down. Yup! this is me officially resigning from the Cool Adults Club. I’m leaving. I’m withdrawing my membership. I’m joining the Uncool, Weird, Overly Expressive, Fast-Replying Humans Association. Because, honestly, trying to fit into rules made by people I don’t know and don’t care about is draining. It’s stressful. It makes zero sense.

And if you can relate, you’re welcome to join me too…..because at the end of the day, this is how validation creeps in. This is how we start shaping ourselves around what others will think.

If you message me and I reply in two seconds, and you reply two hours later, and I reply again in two seconds, and you assume I’m jobless…..that’s your business. Not mine.

I was not made to live like this, to always adjust myself to avoid being misunderstood. So, henceforth…..I only want to do what works for me. I want to live comfortably. I want to breathe. And honestly, if 2 second replies work for me. 2 seconds replies I shall give.

And if that makes me uncool?
Then yeah call me uncool.

With love,

Beks 💜