Let me say it one more time for the people at the back….
My name is Beks and in 2025 my Marriage Ended and it is one of my ‘wins’ for the year….
So guys, there’s this trend going around right now where people are celebrating their wins for the year. You’ve probably seen it…..people with cakes, candles, sticks, notes, little signs, each one representing something they’re grateful for.
It’s beautiful. It’s joyful. It’s celebratory.
And honestly, I love it.
Instead of doing a video though, I decided to do this here in writing and because this will be my last blog post for the year…….it’s going to be a long read so you might want to grab a drink and take a seat.
Before you start reading, let me just address the people who have been doing the math.
The ones zooming into pictures, checking my followers/following….watching my stories and trying to calculate whether I’m still married or not.
I’ll save you the stress.
Yes…..my marriage ended.
No……this post is not about why my marriage ended.
And yes…..it is a win for me.
Do you disagree about it being a win? Probably Yes…
Do you think it’s something I should feel shame for and keep ‘private’? Probably Yes…..
Do I care about or agree with what you think….. A solid NO.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, let me spill the tea or should I say vodka on 2025….
At the beginning of this year, in January I remember celebrating my birthday and sharing about how grateful I was for my life and that If you had asked me five years ago where I thought I’d be in 2025, I would have told you exactly what I was living then; married, building a family, doing something I loved, finally feeling “settled.”
And I was grateful. Truly.
Even with postpartum struggles, exhaustion, and the silent adjustments that come with motherhood, I still felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.
Fast-forward a few months later……everything ‘flipped’.
Not in a dramatic movie way.
Not in a single moment.
But in that slow, painful, life-altering way where you wake up one day and realize the ground beneath you has completely shifted.
Now if you look at my year on paper, it looks like loss after loss:
- My marriage ended
- I became a single parent
- I lost my sense of stability
- I paused my work and my creative momentum
- I lost relationships I thought were solid
- I faced emotional, spiritual and mental battles I never imagined
My mental health suffered deeply….there were moments I genuinely didn’t recognize myself and it just felt like life was dealing me a bad hand……you guys already know all of this yada yada yada. The crazy part though, is that all of these losses are still wins to me……sounds weird right? I know!
Now, if you’re looking at this through the average person’s lens, you might say: “There’s nothing to celebrate here.”
But that’s where perspective changes everything
Just to be clear…..I’m not writing this to gain sympathy. I truly am not. I’m writing because I believe deeply that there is power in telling your story, especially when it’s messy, uncomfortable, and unfinished. I believe that when we share honestly, someone somewhere feels a little less alone.
And if you’re reading this, that’s all I hope for….that something here reminds you that you’re not alone.
Like I said….if we’re using society’s definition of success, this year looks like a failure.
But it’s not and that’s exactly why I’m writing this post.
I’ve learned that what looks like failure on the outside can hold some of the deepest growth on the inside.
And just incase you’re still trying to grasp the reasoning behind me oversharing some of my losses….its pretty simple, I’m trying to change your life.
Haha! Okay maybe that’s too serious….what I mean is that, I want to show you how you can flip your losses into wins with a very realistic example.
I don’t want this post to be overly long lol….so yeah, let’s get into it.
My name is Beks and these are my wins for 2025!
#1: Becoming a Single Mother ❌Surviving My First Year of Motherhood ✅
This one means more to me than I can properly explain.
Late last year, I became a mother for the first time. And I didn’t just become a mother…I became a mother with no manual, no village, and very little support. This of course, stretched into 2025.
I had no idea what I was doing. Truly. I didn’t know how to soothe a crying baby. I didn’t know how to survive sleepless nights. I didn’t know how to take care of myself while keeping another human alive.
I had my baby through a C-section and four days later, I was back home, alone, trying to figure out how to heal physically while caring for a newborn. Two months into motherhood, I started my photography business from home alongside fulltime content creation. I was juggling being a first time mom with little help, a wife, a new business owner and a fulltime content creator all at once, so I guess it’s really no surprise that by the time I hit the four month mark…..I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. I was exhausted, drained and I really just wanted a break…..
But still… I kept going…..I kept mothering.
I fed her. I held her. I loved her. I protected her.
Barely 8 months into motherhood, I was forced into single parenting, my world was falling apart but still I showed up.
And In September she clocked 1….
In a few days she will be 16 months and every time I look at her, I feel proud of myself.
My daughter is happy. She’s joyful. She wakes up smiling. She dances. She laughs. She’s curious. She’s safe.
People who meet her always comment on how intelligent and happy she is, and every time they do, I feel something swell inside my chest because I know how hard I worked to give her that.
So yes, I’m celebrating this.
Because where you see a single mom who should feel shame about her situation, I see a woman who’s absolutely crushing motherhood.
#2: Emotional, Mental & Spiritual Battles ❌ Strengthening my Faith ✅
At the beginning of this year, I got baptized.
At the time, I didn’t fully understand why I felt so compelled to do it. I just knew I felt empty. I wasn’t lacking materially. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t struggling in the way people often imagine struggle.
But I was hollow.
Something inside me was missing.
I went through the motions of faith before, but this year forced me into something deeper….something raw and real.
When everything started falling apart, I had to make a choice. I could either stay in a situation that felt familiar but unsafe, or I could stand alone with nothing but faith.
And choosing to stand alone was terrifying.
I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t feel strong. I didn’t feel brave. I just felt tired.
But somewhere along the way, something shifted.
I realized that leaning on people had limits….but leaning on God didn’t.
When I finally surrendered, when I stopped trying to control the outcome and simply chose safety, peace, and truth, doors began to open in ways I couldn’t have orchestrated myself.
Not instantly. Not magically. But steadily.
This experience forced me into a relationship with God that wasn’t performative or convenient. It was raw. It was desperate. It was honest.
And that, to me, is a win I will never take for granted.
Because where you see problems, I only see solutions….with God.
#3: Marriage Ending ❌Rebuilding a better life ✅
Leaving my marriage wasn’t just emotional. It meant leaving stability. It meant leaving comfort. It meant leaving the version of life I thought I was building.
I left my home.
I left my routine.
I left the life I thought I had secured for myself and my child.
Starting over like that is terrifying.
But somehow, I was given a soft landing.
I had shelter.
I had safety.
I had enough to get through each day.
And that matters more than I can express.
Starting from scratch is painful…..but starting from scratch safely is a privilege I don’t take lightly.
Because where you see discomfort or lack, I see a blank canvas where I can draw something new.
#4: Losing relationships ❌Discovering and creating genuine connections ✅
This year also stripped my circle down to its core.
I was disappointed by people I trusted and I learned some very hard truths about who shows up when things get uncomfortable.
I learned a lot about principles, the kind that defines people at their core and I realized that you can’t take people at face value. Just because someone seems decent in ordinary situations doesn’t mean they will show integrity or character when tested. I saw that truly understanding people requires seeing them in challenging situations, not just in their comfort zones.
But I also met people who surprised me.
People who didn’t need years of history to care.
People who believed me without interrogating my pain.
People who stood beside me without conditions.
That kind of support changes you.
And it taught me the value of surrounding yourself with people who share your principles and values. When your values align, relationships support growth……when they differ, they can pull you off course, influence you negatively, or simply reveal that someone isn’t the person you thought they were.
And I will always be grateful for this lesson.
Because where you see a few people, I see value, love, loyalty and meaningful impact.
#5: Feeling shame/regret ❌ Rediscovering Myself and Evolving ✅
This year, I finally took the time to truly know myself and give myself grace. For the longest time, I’ve always seen myself as a good person…..not perfect, not a saint, but inherently good. I still believe that. But 2025 tested that belief. I faced situations that made me question my own goodness, my choices, and even who I am at my core. There were moments when pain almost pushed me toward becoming someone I didn’t want to be.
And yet, through all of it, I gained clarity. I began to see myself, the real me from an external perspective, forced to confront my flaws, my actions, and my character without excuses. I discovered the kind of person I am, the kind I want to be, and I made real progress in the journey of self-discovery.
This feels like a huge win because it’s so easy to be myopic about ourselves. We often justify our actions or assume we understand ourselves fully, but this year, I learned to look deeply and honestly at who I am. I learned to sit with my mistakes, with uncomfortable emotions, and with moments of loneliness and shame. I learned to embrace accountability and to recognize that growth doesn’t mean perfection….it means facing your truths and working with them.
And I am truly grateful for this…
Because where you see flaws, mistakes, shame, failure….I see a human being who is learning, growing, and worth it.
Why I’m Sharing This
Like I said earlier, I’m not sharing this because I want pity.
I’m sharing it because I want you to know that it’s possible to go through hell and still come out with something worth holding onto.
You can lose everything and still win.
Because winning isn’t about what stays — it’s about what grows.
And what grew in me this year was resilience, clarity, faith, self-trust, and courage.
So maybe your losses are different from mine….
Maybe you don’t have any losses or wins…..
The point is that perspective is everything!
What you choose to see and focus on is what will keep getting bigger…..
How you choose to frame your experiences is what you will always carry in your mind…..
And I’m not trying to say this takes away the pain of having losses, or of the struggles….It doesn’t
But it reduces the weight of carrying so much negatives and gives you a clear mind to embrace positives…..
So yes, I lost things I thought defined me.
But I found myself.
And that’s why I can say this without bitterness:
My marriage ended — and it was my biggest win of 2025.
As We Enter a New Year…
I know a lot of people are planning. Setting goals. Manifesting. Vision-boarding.
That’s beautiful.
But I also want to say this:
Your year does not have to look good on paper to be meaningful.
Sometimes the win is simply surviving.
Sometimes the win is choosing yourself.
Sometimes the win is waking up and trying again.
I don’t know what 2026 holds.
I don’t have a five-year plan anymore.
And honestly? I’m okay with that.
What I do know is this:
No matter what happens, I will adapt.
I will find light.
I will choose gratitude.
And I will keep going.
I will continue to unashamedly be myself in everything I do.
I will continue to put my heart and soul into everything…..motherhood, my work, my relationships, my passion, my content because I truly can’t separate myself from it.
And In 2026, you’re going to see more of the real, raw, unfiltered version of me…….whether I’m angry, broke, jobless…..whatever the case maybe, I will always flip it to a positive.
And If that’s something you love and want to follow, be sure to stick around and subscribe to my newsletter. But if it feels too much, too raw, or too unfiltered, consider this your heads-up to sign out because this is me, unapologetically, in full color.
Lastly, I wish everyone a Happy New Year! I hope you have a beautiful celebration, and I’ll see you in 2026.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for staying.
With love,
Beks 💜
Beks Unfiltered 