The Monsters we make……..

So guys, I watched Frankenstein a few weeks ago, and I thought to share what I took from it with you guys. First off, let me give you a summary of the storyline…..that is for those who haven’t seen it yet.

In the movie, the lead character – Victor loses his mother as a child, and the grief consumes him so deeply that he dedicates his entire life to defeating death. He unfortunately doesn’t succeed at defeating death, but he does the next closest thing……he creates life. He pieces together body parts, stitches them, and brings a being to life — The Creature.

Now, you see…..The Creature looks like what we’ve been taught a monster should look like: stitched, pale, terrifying, physically overwhelming. The literal definition of “monster.” But the irony? He is the complete opposite……he’s gentle, observant, kind, almost childlike in his innocence.

As the story progresses, we get to find out who the real monster is though — it’s Victor, the creator. The polished young doctor, handsome, decent-looking, respectable….you know, the one who looks like everything except a monster.

And watching that had my mind spinning, thinking about the stereotypes we hold in our society. We often preach “don’t judge a book by its cover,” but we judge it anyway because society has quietly programmed us to expect that monsters look a certain way.

As a Nigerian woman, I know this too well…..not because anybody sat me down in a classroom to explain that a girl with dyed hair or multiple piercings is “wayward,” or that a man with dreads is “dangerous.” It’s just something that a handful of us learned from the silent glances, backhanded comments, church whispers and societal reactions. Over time though, the more we grew up….the more we absorbed these stereotypes and they began shaping how we viewed people.

This explains why as a young girl that grew up in West Africa, you’re naturally drawn to the “clean” guy. Low cut. No tattoos. No piercings. Has a job in preferably one of the African Parents’ favorite fields i.e -Medicine, Law, Accounting or Engineering. I can already imagine the wide grin and glow of pride on an African mother’s face when she finds out her son in-law works as a lawyer in an oil and gas firm.

Back to my point though, lol….. I feel like our society and upbringing managed to convinced us that a typical “husband material” should look a certain way….so it’s only expected that the minute a man with dreads, tattoos, or piercing approaches, you instantly file him under bad guy — without even knowing him.

We also take these stereotypes so far that we let them decide who we think is kind, who is patient, who is gentle, who is non-violent, who is safe…..all based on how they look. And you know, It’s wild when you think about it…….how do we let hairstyles, piercings, tattoos, and fashion sense tell us who a person is? as if kindness is written on the body and not in the heart.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the stereotypes are accurate, people really do look like what they are or try to represent who they are with certain physical features. But honestly? I’d say that’s the minority, not the majority. Building your entire judgment of someone on their appearance isn’t just limiting, it’s misleading. It makes you miss out on the chance to form genuine connections because you’ve already decided who someone is before they even open their mouth.

It’s okay to have personal preferences. It’s okay to have small pointers to guide the kind of people you want to interact with. But those pointers should never be the foundation for deciding if someone is kind, decent, patient, honest, or safe. You cannot truly know a person by their appearance, plus sometimes, these stereotypes sit so deeply in our minds that even when someone who doesn’t look like a monster is acting like one, we refuse to accept it. Their clean-cut image, soft smile, neat haircut, or aesthetically pleasing profile blinds us from acknowledging who they really are.

So you know, as a man you meet a woman who looks gentle and put-together, exactly how society says a “good woman” should look, but when you get closer, she’s unkind, dismissive, maybe even cruel. Instead of stepping back and accepting what her behaviour is showing you, you cling to the exterior and try to reshape her into the person her appearance promised. And that is where stereotypes become dangerous: they convince us to stay in situations we should walk away from, simply because the person looks like what we’ve been told a “good human” should look like.

Basically, my point is that we all need to know that the real danger is never in the aesthetics, it’s in the heart. The Creature looked terrifying but he had the purest soul. Victor looked polished but was the actual monster.

Another note worthy part for me was how Elizabeth, saw The Creature’s heart before she saw his face. She connected with his humanity, not his appearance. And honestly, in real life, a little bit of that energy could save us from unnecessary heartbreaks and missed opportunities.

So yeah… that’s what’s been on my mind today……

Stereotypes are loud, but they’re not always right. Sometimes slowing down, looking deeper, and allowing people to show you who they are….. beyond the hair, beyond the tattoos, beyond the aesthetics, can change everything.

On that note, this is your sign to go watch Frankenstein. You might see more of yourself in it than you expect.

At the end of the day, I think I am of the opinion that monsters aren’t always in the shadows. Sometimes they’re in the narratives we build, the stereotypes we repeat, and the things we assume too quickly.

They are the just Monsters we make…..

With Love,

Beks 💜